The route to true happiness is by understanding impermanence

"The Buddha was... promising salvation...through the embrace of the very stuff that will destroy us. The route to true happiness, he argued, was to achieve a visceral understanding of impermanence, which would take you off the emotional roller coaster and allow you to see your dramas and desires through a wider lens.Waking up to the reality of our situation allows you to , as the Buddhists say, "let go," to drop your "attachments." As one Buddhist writer put it, the key is to recognize the "wisdom of insecurity.""

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

Impermanence

"The Buddha's main thesis was that in a world where everything is constantly changing, we suffer because we cling to things that won't last. A central theme of the Buddha's "dharma" (which roughly translates to "teaching") revolved around the very word that had been wafting through my consciousness when I used to lie on my office couch, pondering the unpredictability of television news: "impermanence." The Buddha embraced an often overlooked truism: nothing lasts - including us. We and everyone we live will die. Fame fizzles, beauty fades, continents shift. Pharaohs are swallowed by emperors, who fall to sultans, kings, kaisers and presidents - and it all plays out against the backdrop of an infinite universe in which our bodies are made up of atoms from the very first exploring stars. We may know this intellectually, but on as emotional level we seem to be hardwired for denial."

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

Monkey Mind

(The Buddhists) "compiled meticulous lists: The Three Characteristics of All Phenomena, the Four Noble Truths, The Four Highest Emotions, The Seven Factors of Enlightenment, etc. They also came up with names for so many of the mental habits I'd come to notice in myself, such as "comparing mind," and "wanting mind." They had a term, too, for that thing I did where something would bother me and I would immediately project forward to an unpleasant future... the Buddhists called this prapanca (pra-PUN-cha), which roughly translates to "proliferation," or "the imperialistic tendency of mind." That captures it beautifully, I thought: something happens, I worry, and that concern instantaneously colonizes my future. My favorite Buddhist catchphrase, however, was the one they used to describe the churning of the ego: "monkey mind"."

Lurch headlong from one pleasurable experience to the next without ever achieving satisfaction

"We are constantly murmuring, muttering, scheming or wondering to ourselves under our breath," wrote (Dr. Mark) Epstein. "'I like this. I don't like that. She hurt me. How can I get that? More of this, no more of that.' Much of our inner dialogue is this constant reaction to experience by a selfish, childish protagonist. None of us has moved very far from the seven-year-old who vigilantly watches to see who got more." There were also delightful passages about the human tendency to lurch headlong from one pleasurable experience to the next without ever achieving satisfaction. Epstein totally nailed my habit of hunting around my plate for the next bite before I'd tasted what was in my mouth. As he described it, "I do not want to experience the fading of the flavor - the colorless, cottony pulp that succeeds that spectacular burst over my taste buds."

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

Understand that the present moment is what it is and then do what you need to do

"So, you're not saying sit around, let everything wash over you, let people cut you off in your car. You're saying understand that it is what it is right now--" (Dan Harris)

"And then do what you need to do,"..."Make the present moment your friend rather than your enemy. Because many people live habitually as if the present moment were an obstacle that they need to overcome in order to get to the next moment. And imagine living your whole life like that, where always this moment is never quite right, not good enough because you need to get to the next one. That is continuous stress." Eckhart Tolle

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

Gusts of wind

"... what if somebody cuts you off in your car?" (Dan Harris)
"It's fine. It's like a sudden gust of wind. I don't personalize a gust of wind, and so it's simply what is." (Eckhart Tolle)

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

whatever was coming next would definitely be better

"...in a deadline-dominated world of news, I was always hurtling headlong through the day, checking things off my to-do list, constantly picturing completion instead of calmly and carefully enjoying the process. The unspoken assumption behind most of my forward momentum was that whatever was coming next would definitely be better. Only when I reached that ineffable ... whatever ... would I be totally satisfied."

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

The great curse

"The great curse, though, is that, as I's learned on 9/11, you come to see these events, at least in part, through the lens of self-interest. Did I get to go? Did I perform well? This psychology was not discussed much in all the autobiographies of legendary journalists that I's read, but it was nonetheless real."

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

We expend most of our energy competing with our own colleagues

"As outsider might assume that we journalists spend most of our time competing with people from other networks. In actuality, we expend most of our energy competing with our own colleagues. In order to retain my spot on the front lines, I found myself vying against fellow correspondents like David Wright, another young reporter who'd recently arrived from local news. He was aggressive and smart, and I kind of resented him for it... during a period in which David was kicking ass over in Afghanistan and I was stuck in New York, I could barely bring myself to watch the news."

- 10% Happier By Dan Harris

When you're covering a news story there's a tendency to feel bulletproof

If gunshots had gone off in a situation where I was not on the job, I would have wet my pants. I had no record of courage in my personal life...When you're covering a news story, however, there's a tendency to feel bulletproof. It's as if there's a buffer between you and the world, as exponentially more dangerous variant of the unreality you feel when taking a stroll while listening to your iPod. In the context of combat, my reflex to worry had been completely overridden by my desire to be part of the big story."

- 10% Happier by Dan Harris

Hypervigilance prolongs life but makes it less enjoyable

"...the balance between stress and contentment was life's biggest riddle. On the one hand, I was utterly convinced that the continuation of any success I had achieved was contingent upon persistent hypervigilance. I figured this kind of behavior must be adaptive from an evolutionary standpoint - caveman who worried about possible threats, real or imagined, probably survived longer. On the other hand, I was keenly aware that while this kind of insecurity might prolong life, it also made it less enjoyable."

- 10% Happier By Dan Harris

To which "self" should we be true to?

"...to which "self" are we to be true?...Is it the one who speaks from the dark recesses of the heart when we're depressed or upset, or the one that appears during those fleeting moments when life seems so fanciful and light?"

- Michael A. Singer in "The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself"

Faith is taking the first step when you don't see the whole staircase

"Faith is taking the first step when you don't see the whole staircase"

- Martin Luther King Jr.

A safe haven to hone skills

"The Talent Code" book significantly stresses the importance of a safe haven to practice deeply, make errors and learn from them (a.k.a being at the edge of one's ability) without paying a huge cost (of life or public ridicule). Could not agree more.

Practice more deeply, to stop, struggle, make errors, and learn from them

Edwin Link's trainer (a jet aircraft trainer for pilots) worked so well "... because it "permitted pilots to practice more deeply, to stop, struggle, make errors, and learn from them. During a few hours in a Link trainer, a pilot could "take off" and "land" a dozen times on instruments. He could dive, stall, and recover, spending hours inhabiting the sweet spot at the edge of his capabilities in ways he could never risk in an actual plane."

- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle

Greatness by spending vast amounts of time and energy being immature

Great writers "become great writers not in spite of the fact that they started out immature and imitative but because they were willing to spend vast amounts of time and energy being immature and imitative, building myelin in the confined, safe space of their little books."

- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle

Deep practice X 10,000 hours = world-class skill

"The true expertise of ... geniuses, the research suggests, resides in their ability to deep-practice obsessively, even when it doesn't necessarily look like they're practicing.
...
Deep practice X 10,000 hours = world-class skill"

- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle

"Buying Time"

"The more effective and competent you feel, the more you think you've accomplished, which makes your remaining time feel more expansive, Mogilner explains... If you get a lot done in an hour, you tend to imagine how much you'll be able to do during the rest of the day."

- Psychology Today

A Good Apology

"Social psychologist Steven Scher of Eastern Illinois University has identified five main elements of apologies: a simple expression of regret ("I'm sorry" "I apologize" or "Excuse me"); an explanation or account of the cause that brought about the violation ("I forgot to call you the other day with the information"); an expression of the speaker's responsibility for the offense ("what I did was wrong"); a promise of forbearance ("I promise nothing like this will happen again"); and an offer of repair ("What can I do to make it up to you?")"

- Psychology Today

Persuasion

"When you want to change someone's mood, mind or willingness to act, ask yourself not "How can I win this argument?" but "How can I win agreement without anger?" says rhetorics expert Jay Heinrichs, author of Thank you for Arguing... Figure out what you want, then go about getting it.

"Never debate the undebatable," he says. "Instead, focus on goals." Control the mood with volume, tone, stories. Watch for persuadable moments, And most important, be agreeable -- express similarities and shared values; show people that you have their best interest, as well as your own, at heart.

And never discount the power of bringing up someone's peer group, says Robert Cialdini, Arizona State University psychologist turned consultant, who wrote the book on persuasion (Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion). He points to an energy company that placed monthly hangers on doors to let people know where they stood on energy use compared to their neighbors - and reduced usage by 3.5 percent. "It's not peer pressure as much as 'social evidence," says Heinrichs. Evolutionarily, it's proven smart to do what those around us in similar situations have done."

- Psychology Today