1. "Wanting to win. (The) desire to win is built into our very fiber before we're old enough to know what's going on... Unfortunately, as we grow older, most of us don't realize that the desire to win is continually driving us away from healthy dialogue. We start out with the goal of resolving a problem, but as soon as someone raises the red flag of inaccuracy or challenges out correctness, we switch purposes in a heartbeat"
2. "Seeking revenge. Sometimes, as our anger increases, we move from wanting to win the point to wanting to harm the other person... (response is) Everyone immediately clams up and looks at the floor."
3. "Hoping to remain safe... Rather than add to the pool of meaning, and possibly make waves along the way, we go to silence. We're so uncomfortable with the immediate conflict that we accept the certainty of bad results to avoid the possibility of uncomfortable conversation. We choose... peace over conflict.(the objective of the conversation is not met)"
- "Crucial Conversations - Tools for talking when stakes are high"
2. "Seeking revenge. Sometimes, as our anger increases, we move from wanting to win the point to wanting to harm the other person... (response is) Everyone immediately clams up and looks at the floor."
3. "Hoping to remain safe... Rather than add to the pool of meaning, and possibly make waves along the way, we go to silence. We're so uncomfortable with the immediate conflict that we accept the certainty of bad results to avoid the possibility of uncomfortable conversation. We choose... peace over conflict.(the objective of the conversation is not met)"
- "Crucial Conversations - Tools for talking when stakes are high"
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