"The Talent Code" book significantly stresses the importance of a safe haven to practice deeply, make errors and learn from them (a.k.a being at the edge of one's ability) without paying a huge cost (of life or public ridicule). Could not agree more.
Sunday, October 06, 2013
Practice more deeply, to stop, struggle, make errors, and learn from them
Edwin Link's trainer (a jet aircraft trainer for pilots) worked so well "... because it "permitted pilots to practice more deeply, to stop, struggle, make errors, and learn from them. During a few hours in a Link trainer, a pilot could "take off" and "land" a dozen times on instruments. He could dive, stall, and recover, spending hours inhabiting the sweet spot at the edge of his capabilities in ways he could never risk in an actual plane."
- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
Greatness by spending vast amounts of time and energy being immature
Great writers "become great writers not in spite of the fact that they started out immature and imitative but because they were willing to spend vast amounts of time and energy being immature and imitative, building myelin in the confined, safe space of their little books."
- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
Deep practice X 10,000 hours = world-class skill
"The true expertise of ... geniuses, the research suggests, resides in their ability to deep-practice obsessively, even when it doesn't necessarily look like they're practicing.
...
Deep practice X 10,000 hours = world-class skill"
- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
...
Deep practice X 10,000 hours = world-class skill"
- The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
Saturday, October 05, 2013
"Buying Time"
"The more effective and competent you feel, the more you think you've accomplished, which makes your remaining time feel more expansive, Mogilner explains... If you get a lot done in an hour, you tend to imagine how much you'll be able to do during the rest of the day."
- Psychology Today
- Psychology Today
A Good Apology
"Social psychologist Steven Scher of Eastern Illinois University has identified five main elements of apologies: a simple expression of regret ("I'm sorry" "I apologize" or "Excuse me"); an explanation or account of the cause that brought about the violation ("I forgot to call you the other day with the information"); an expression of the speaker's responsibility for the offense ("what I did was wrong"); a promise of forbearance ("I promise nothing like this will happen again"); and an offer of repair ("What can I do to make it up to you?")"
- Psychology Today
- Psychology Today
Persuasion
"When you want to change someone's mood, mind or willingness to act, ask yourself not "How can I win this argument?" but "How can I win agreement without anger?" says rhetorics expert Jay Heinrichs, author of Thank you for Arguing... Figure out what you want, then go about getting it.
"Never debate the undebatable," he says. "Instead, focus on goals." Control the mood with volume, tone, stories. Watch for persuadable moments, And most important, be agreeable -- express similarities and shared values; show people that you have their best interest, as well as your own, at heart.
And never discount the power of bringing up someone's peer group, says Robert Cialdini, Arizona State University psychologist turned consultant, who wrote the book on persuasion (Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion). He points to an energy company that placed monthly hangers on doors to let people know where they stood on energy use compared to their neighbors - and reduced usage by 3.5 percent. "It's not peer pressure as much as 'social evidence," says Heinrichs. Evolutionarily, it's proven smart to do what those around us in similar situations have done."
- Psychology Today
"Never debate the undebatable," he says. "Instead, focus on goals." Control the mood with volume, tone, stories. Watch for persuadable moments, And most important, be agreeable -- express similarities and shared values; show people that you have their best interest, as well as your own, at heart.
And never discount the power of bringing up someone's peer group, says Robert Cialdini, Arizona State University psychologist turned consultant, who wrote the book on persuasion (Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion). He points to an energy company that placed monthly hangers on doors to let people know where they stood on energy use compared to their neighbors - and reduced usage by 3.5 percent. "It's not peer pressure as much as 'social evidence," says Heinrichs. Evolutionarily, it's proven smart to do what those around us in similar situations have done."
- Psychology Today
The correct praise
"Praising someone's ability to work hard is more effective than gushing about how brilliant she is. Research shows that kids who are praised for their intelligence do not try as hard on future tasks. Praising smarts breeds the belief that things should come naturally - and when they don't, kids think they are no longer bright. Or they choose unchallenging paths so as not to be exposed as "frauds."
"Being praised for effort or other aspects of performance directly under your control leads to resilience, while being praised for being smart or for other innate abilities can lead to feelings of helplessness or self-doubt when a setback occurs." says psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University... When praised for persistence, those who think the path ahead will be difficult invest more effort.
... To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much as social reward as being given money."
- Psychology Today
"Being praised for effort or other aspects of performance directly under your control leads to resilience, while being praised for being smart or for other innate abilities can lead to feelings of helplessness or self-doubt when a setback occurs." says psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University... When praised for persistence, those who think the path ahead will be difficult invest more effort.
... To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much as social reward as being given money."
- Psychology Today
Healthier decisions
Guiding "people towards making healthier decisions by tapping into their own values, can provide a template for encouraging someone you care about to ... partake less of any ... harmful behaviour.
William Miller, emeritus professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of New Mexico and his Colleague Stephen Rollnick found it is essential to engage a person's intrinsic motivation to change. Conversational techniques include asking open-ended questions("How do you feel about your health right now?" "What kinds of activities do you like that don't involve eating/drinking?" "What small change would you like to make?"), providing affirmations ("It seems that you would like to work on your self-control."), using reflective listening and making summary statements.
A key component of motivational enhancement is to help a person recognize the difference between the way she wants her life to be and the way it is now: "How does drinking every night interfere with other things you would like to do?" The question allows the person to come up with her own solutions as well as her own motivations.
It's helpful to focus on things that are important to your loved one with-out laying on guilt ("What will the children think?"). Goals should be small, specific, and realistic, and always the person's own idea: "So what do you want to tackle first?" Self-control can be practiced, and habits can be formed and unformed. The path starts within..."
- Psychology Today
William Miller, emeritus professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of New Mexico and his Colleague Stephen Rollnick found it is essential to engage a person's intrinsic motivation to change. Conversational techniques include asking open-ended questions("How do you feel about your health right now?" "What kinds of activities do you like that don't involve eating/drinking?" "What small change would you like to make?"), providing affirmations ("It seems that you would like to work on your self-control."), using reflective listening and making summary statements.
A key component of motivational enhancement is to help a person recognize the difference between the way she wants her life to be and the way it is now: "How does drinking every night interfere with other things you would like to do?" The question allows the person to come up with her own solutions as well as her own motivations.
It's helpful to focus on things that are important to your loved one with-out laying on guilt ("What will the children think?"). Goals should be small, specific, and realistic, and always the person's own idea: "So what do you want to tackle first?" Self-control can be practiced, and habits can be formed and unformed. The path starts within..."
- Psychology Today
Framing Criticism
"Susan Heitler, author of From Conflict to Resolution, recommends feedback that "skips the complaining and goes straight to the explaining"(the solution).
For instance, while cooking, instead of saying, "That's not the way to saute, that will dry out the potatoes," offer helpful tips, such as: "If you start out with a hot skillet, it will be easier to tell when the potatoes are done; that's it, keep stirring until the onions are translucent, add a little more butter, keep stirring...perfect!"
For parents, the same approach applies to homework and chores. Choose encouraging statements over a stern grilling, Heitler advises, and say what you would prefer your child to do rather than what she has not done or has done incorrectly.("I'd love to see your playroom cleaned by this weekend so you and your friends can have fun downstairs," instead of "This place is a mess! What have you been doing? You haven't picked up one thing. No one is coming over this weekend until this room is spotless.")
Criticism is the single most significant factor in a child's perception of the parental relationship. It's important to criticize without demeaning or humiliating.
If you feel disappointed with a child's performance at school or in any other domain, it's best to channel the feeling into a fact-finding discussion. Ask your child to evaluate his own performance and what he got out of the experience. If he is dissatisfied with the outcome of his own actions, ask what he might do differently the next time, and what he feels he needs in order to do as well as he wants.
... We are social creatures, and the way we say things has real power. To show care when choosing how to phrase something is a way to honor, and safe-guard, any relationship."
- Psychology Today
For instance, while cooking, instead of saying, "That's not the way to saute, that will dry out the potatoes," offer helpful tips, such as: "If you start out with a hot skillet, it will be easier to tell when the potatoes are done; that's it, keep stirring until the onions are translucent, add a little more butter, keep stirring...perfect!"
For parents, the same approach applies to homework and chores. Choose encouraging statements over a stern grilling, Heitler advises, and say what you would prefer your child to do rather than what she has not done or has done incorrectly.("I'd love to see your playroom cleaned by this weekend so you and your friends can have fun downstairs," instead of "This place is a mess! What have you been doing? You haven't picked up one thing. No one is coming over this weekend until this room is spotless.")
Criticism is the single most significant factor in a child's perception of the parental relationship. It's important to criticize without demeaning or humiliating.
If you feel disappointed with a child's performance at school or in any other domain, it's best to channel the feeling into a fact-finding discussion. Ask your child to evaluate his own performance and what he got out of the experience. If he is dissatisfied with the outcome of his own actions, ask what he might do differently the next time, and what he feels he needs in order to do as well as he wants.
... We are social creatures, and the way we say things has real power. To show care when choosing how to phrase something is a way to honor, and safe-guard, any relationship."
- Psychology Today
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